Archive for June, 2009

my wishlist

I’ve been looking around…for pretty stuff…and found some..but can’t have any because they are either on ebay or expensive :-/ anyway…I’ve decided to make a wishlist instead since I can’t sleep…and upset because I can’t have any of these. Anyway, I hope a rich Dato’ will come across this blog and buy me these stuff ๐Ÿ˜›

Item No.1 : A charm bracelet

knot-bracelet123_stdRM 123.00 from KNOT

Item No.2 : A Sewing Machine (yes…unbelievable isn’t it?)

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RM 158.00 from somewhere out there (kedai mana2 la kan)

Item No.3 (well living animals I mean) : Bunnies!!!

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RM 100 something-ish (but i need my own place before i can have them)

Item No.4 (it needs to be alive) : A Fat kitty…like Garfield…or I’ll feed it until it’ll look like one

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RM …urm…no idea…

making something out of my life

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Still working on my product shots…sigh…I wish I had a micro lense…or proper lights to start with! Ok ok…bersyukur dengan apa yang ada (ok fine the study lamp will do for now)…hehe…I’ll make it work somehow.

Anyway, I’m only showing two pendants in here…just to show my progress :-p But everything will be in the other blog since this blog is only reserved for my emo writings :-p I still need to work on the pricing etc etc. I’ll also be selling pretty clothes ๐Ÿ˜‰ But yeah…a lot of work…but at least i’m trying to do something with my life…

About the pendants…each pendant is unique…picked out from different places…different time…different country…different year…and I won’t be selling 2 or 3 of the same thing. Why? Because I’m the kind of person who likes to be different from everyone else so perhaps there are people out there who want to own something that no one else has ๐Ÿ˜‰ It’s like a personal charm jewellery…something like that…yea as you can see i’m still working on it…but i’ll get there somehow ๐Ÿ˜‰

I want to see Inka tomorrow but I have no money…sigh…poor thing =(

adding a little “uhhhh” and “ahhhh”

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My ‘online business’ blog is almost done ๐Ÿ˜‰

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I’ve been working on my other blog…going to use it for my online business. My aunt…she told me to use pink as the theme colour…and I tried…but I couldn’t stick to it. I felt like throwing myself out the window everytime I looked at it…pink is definitely not my colour…sorry! I mean it’s okay to look at it sometimes…but to look at it all the time…no way. I know that I’m trying to attract all the ladies out there to buy my stuff but going all pinky is not the only way :-p

I’ve been doing a lot of research etc for my online business. Yesterday I found another interesting wholesale supplier. To be honest I have no idea how I’m going to make it work but I’ll try my best. I have Engineering, IT, Advertising, Multimedia, Journalism (writing)ย in my head…and Amad will help me with the accounting part so yeah…InsyaAllah things will be okay…if I work hard of course.

Owh…I didn’t tell you guys about Inka…the day Amad and I brought him to the vet. So we brought Inka…and the vet told us that he hadย the flu…awww. I told the vet to deworm him also. Now Inka is at the house alone…he’s getting better but I still need to feed him with the antibiotic so I’ll be visiting him from time to time. He would feel lonely, yes, but I can’t do anything about that for now. At least he has enough food and water with him. Anyway thank u Amad for taking Inka and I to the vet…I really appreciate it =)

And owh…I’ve been working on a song too.. ๐Ÿ˜‰

No emo story for you guys today…sorry (or thank God for that! hehe). Urm…yeah…I’m not happy or anything. I’m doing okay. Watched Transformers 2ย the other night. Out of 5, I give it 3 1/2 because Optimus Prime was being a ‘softy’ again…full of jiwang words as usual…and Megan Fox was being too much. I know thatย she’s hot and I’m not dengki or anything but some of her scenes were not ‘necessary’. She was like… “okay people know I’m hot and they expect me to be hot so why not I add a little this and that to that hotness to make them go uhh and ahh..” …I don’t blame her. I blame the director for exposing her too much.

a little happy ;-)

Today I went to visit my uncle n aunt to discuss about our business. They have four bunnies! Photos with the other two are kinda blurry so i couldn’t be bothered to post them in here. I can’t wait to have my own house with a small back garden so i can have my own bunnies…and cats too of course…and some koi fishes…and…urm…other animals too ๐Ÿ˜‰

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resting

Sorry…I was thinking…deciding…but I’m back ๐Ÿ˜‰

taken from me

You know what? Sometimes when I read back the things I’ve written so far…I feel like laughing at myself. And no matter what I do, I’ll never feel like I’m in my own world. I have this thing where…when I write, it’s like I create another world for myself…with my own imagination…everything kept inside a so-called private sphere. I know people read my stuff…I know that I’ve been exposing my dramatic life to strangers…but sometimes I like to pretend that no one really cares about what I have to say.

My dad thinks that I’m emotionally unstable. Why? Well the question is not WHY but HOW. I don’t know what my parents think of me, really, but they can’t expect me to be ‘normal’ and ‘happy’ like everyone else after God knows what I’ve seen or lost or felt eversince I can remember. Seriously, how can anyone expect me to be stable and happy? If you have pieces of your life scattered around after being broken so many times…would you be able to be happy? I still can’t get over what a so-called friend said to me years back…she said (arrogantly): “aren’t you the type of person who has too many problems”. Well at least my life is colourful and full of drama…at least I’m not ignorant and dull like you =) Thank God I’m different than you…I can’t imagine myself being the type of people who think they know everything when the fact is…they’re just as doomed as the rest. Gosh…just because my life is not blessed or how do you say it? – not on the right path? It doesn’t mean that I’m totally ‘gone’. I have my own plans. I have my own goals and priorities. I know how to pull myself back together after being crushed into pieces. Just…let me do my thing…aku tak menyusahkan hidup korang, kan?

What really pisses me of is that…you know when you’ve tried so hard to keep it together…and you keep on trying to do your best…like me for example…i think i’ve been a good daughter. I mean I know I’m a little too stubborn sometimes…well that’s because I feel that people don’t understand what i’ve done or gone through so i get annoyed when people try to control my life but seriously…i’ve been trying my freaking best to do my best…but it’s never NEVER been good enough. I try to finish my studies (even though i know that my parents think i’m not the brightest child in the family), i’ve stayed away from stupid things like smoking, drugs, etc etc whatever BUT STILL…IT’S NOT ENOUGH…WHY?! I don’t even have a freaking life (well that’s because I choose not to btw)…I mean…I’ve completely lost 80% of my life but I’m trying…very hard…but somehow nothing is ever good enough.

LOL somehow I’m reminded of my brother’s blog title: ‘so much anger in one happy child’ hahahaha!!! yea…true…so but in my case…it’s so much drama + anger + confusion + grudges in one unhappy child :-p

poor Inka

Inka is in so much pain…she’s (i’m starting to think that Inka is a ‘he’) constipated. Amad and I went to a pet shop earlier to find one of those deworm syrups but then the girl at the counter advised us to take Inka to the vet instead so she’d get a proper check up. I’ve been reading a lot of things on the internet and i can see that Inka’s showing symptoms for constipation. And i thought she was having worm problem but i think she needs to be dewormed also so yea…

So for tomorrow, Amad told me that he’d leave work early and cancel his volleyball game so he can take me and Inka to the nearest vet…i hope everything will be okay. So Amad i know that you’ll eventually find the time to read my blog in the office and if you’re reading this entry now…don’t worry about finishing early…we can go after work okay? you’re so sweet…thank u


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