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this makes me angry

I’m pretty upset that I’ve lost my last getah rambut…now my rambut is serabai and getah’less. And now I have to buy a new one. This makes me angry.


sparing the poor cockcroach’s life…

I’m giving the cockroach some time to escape so I hope it’ll be gone by the time I go back to the bathroom.

I was going to shower…and then I saw a cockroach in the bathroom. Okay…I’m not really a big fan of things that can run or fly freaking fast so dengan sepenuh jiwa dan raga I sprayed the poor thing with the water hose…hoping it’d go down the hole (i felt bad after that).

Then the poor thing was struggling…fighting back…trying its best to climb up the bathroom wall. But since it was too slippery, it fell back and continued to struggle. I thought of Sheltox…but then kesian la pulak so yeah…after giving it some thought, I decided to spare the cockroach’s life by giving it some time to escape.

Let’s just hope that pak karim won’t discover him or his life will end with sheltox or the newspaper.

Or selipar tandas.

when you don’t have nice things to say to me…

Another funny thing I learned about people is…they prefer to hear negative things.

Let’s take falling in love as the easiest example.

They say that it’s important to stay happy in a relationship. But when you start sharing your happiness, or tell them how good things are going for you and your loved one (especially when the relationship is still new), they start showing their so-called concerns,

e.g. “Now, now…don’t get your hopes too high…you still have to get to know him better etc etc

Which is, by the way, something that I already know.

So, let me get this straight: You people want me to be happy but at the same time, you make me feel like shit? It just doesn’t make sense, you know what I’m saying?

And I admit that I’ve been (well not anymore) stupid enough to listen or care. Now, when I say things like this, they will say something like:

“You can’t see anything now because in the beginnning, everything is wonderful but things will eventually fade away…”

That’s why I’m much happier now. I stopped listening. I stopped sharing. Sometimes I wonder why I bothered trying to convince the  people around me or show them anything. There’s nothing to prove. When you’re happy…you just be happy. When things go wrong, face them and move on. So the main question is, why should I bother?

Here’s another funny thing. I have a friend who’s been dating this guy for more than 8-9 years (since high school I think). She gave me a so-called little tiny piece of advice…which was… “You guys are still new. Why don’t you get to know him more?”

Ok I get that.

So she’s trying to show me that she’s had a long run and she knows better. What she doesn’t know is that…her boyfriend of 8-9 years did try to flirt with me behind her back. I even saved the conversation just in case I need to save her ass one day but so far I’ve kept everything to myself to avoid further complication. I know I didn’t do anything wrong. Plus, I didn’t even know that they had been together for ages…because the boyfriend didn’t say anything about him seeing anyone. Plus, I didn’t flirt back because I was never interested in him.

So do you think that she had listened to her own advice? I haven’t had the heart to tell her what her boyfriend was up to because I don’t want to break her. Plus, I already stopped caring about people who just came out of nowhere and tried to be smart with me so yeah…not my problem 🙂

Basically, before you start talking…or trying to ‘outsmart’ people around you…you better analyze your own life first. Just because you’ve known that person for 10,000 years, it doesn’t mean that you ‘know’ him…or her.

Look, I’m not trying to be smart and act like I know everything here. But it doesn’t hurt to give a little support or shut the hell up when you don’t have anything nice to say to someone. There’s nothing to worry about me. I welcome comments, advice, etc but seriously…even if I do fall…I will not exactly die from frustration or a broken heart.  Just appreciate what you have because one thing is true though…like what my brother always say…things will eventually fade away. Now he will treat you like a princess but later, the special treatment or attention will shift to something or someone else. It’s life – you just can’t deny or avoid life’s nature.

you mean happiness to me


I have learned that it’s nicer to walk alone instead of following or being followed. I’m thankful that I have God, a loving family, good friends and him.

This might sound like one of those in denial statements, but I really am happy now. I’m not telling this to make people say “good…she finally got over her depresssion” etc but I really am. It’s hard to believe actually. But yea…I can feel it. Wow…that’s just weird right there…

I know that my results for the previous semester will frustrate me, but I know that I had tried my very best to…do my best. My parents will not be happy…but what do they know? Whatever I say…they will only have the word ‘excuses’ running through their minds so I’m not going to bother anymore. My future…my effort…their money (I know)…but yeah. I’m going to graduate…I’m going to do whatever it takes to graduate this year. My life will not end there (unless God wants it to). I still have a long way to go. I’ve never been a good planner, but I know what I’m doing. That’s all that matters.

Him and I…I honestly don’t know how to describe what we have. Whenever I’m with him, it feels like we’re out of this world. There’s no status or anything and no strings attached whatsoever, but he’s the only person I want to run to when I feel like crying. To be honest, I seldom cry in front of…anyone. I just don’t see the point of expressing myself to…anyone. But with him…I feel safe. With him, I feel secure. I don’t have to say anything…he just knows it.

…did you really?


there you go…

My internet connection will be unavailable in a few hours. I will not be able to use my own connection starting from 10.00AM to 7pm. Apparently, it’s like this everyday. I don’t know why this is happening and it does pisses me off and I don’t know why I can only use it during those hours but yeah…I’ve grown tired of complaining or trying to fix it so….whatever.

The other day, a friend of Amad added me on facebook. I was reluctant to approve the adding request at first but then I was like nahhh…what the heck and eventually approved. But then I found out that his girlfriend is somehow connected to Amad’s psycho ex-girlfriend so I was like…hell no…and decided to kick him off my friends list.

Yes, this is what I do for living – I stay away from people who have the potential to bring misery into my (or other people’s) life. In my life (so far), I think I’ve seen enough or gone through enough to know, whether or not, the person is worth being friends with. This might make me sound arrogant or whatever, but seriously…I no longer deal with so-called friends who are narrow-minded, selfish and ignorant. Experiences turned me into someone who no longer cares about being alone. I don’t care if you come in different shapes, sizes, colours, races, religions etc. I just care about your sincerity, how you treat yourself and people around you and whether or not you’ll be there when things get rough. If you’re a psycho…typical melayu yang dengki and busuk hati…well…pegi berdiri tengah-tengah jalan raya and tunggu sampai itu lori besar or bas besar langgar you, okay? There you go =)

kittens and a roll of toilet paper — bad idea


a ‘free show’ from Muji :-p


Went to visit the ‘boys’ today. And…I gotta tell you…I regret leaving a roll of toilet paper on the dining table before i left the house a few days back. Why? The moment I entered the house…inside of the house looked like it had been hit by a tornado or something. You guys should’ve seen their (Inka and Muji) faces when I gave them that ‘Okay…who is responsible for all this mess???’ look. If they could talk, I think they would’ve responded “Na ah…we’ve been good boys…don’t know where all this mess came from”.

But yeah…of course i didn’t have the heart to scold them because…they’re cats. I do believe that animals can understand us but they’re still kittens so they’re just like normal kids…always getting themselves into troubles. Now, don’t you think that I have a potential to become a good loving mother? :-p Yeah right. That will only happen after I’ve taken some anger management sessions haha. Anyway, my spoilt-brad-kittens seem to be very happy. They seem to get along well with one another. And Inka hasn’t been noisy since the day I brought Muji back home so yeah…I’m glad 🙂

And I’ve started playing the Sims game again because I have no life during this holiday. This time I put a husband and wife in a house and make the husband have an affair with the maid, while the wife having an affair with the tukang kebun (gardener) LOL. Yes, I love to create drama swasta even in virtual lives. I love to play the Sims because I like to build houses and all. And yes, I’m a control freak because in this game i get to control the characters :-p

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